Immune

Im immune to crying now. I really think I am. Just feels so sad that I cannot cry. I think i cried too much bfore. About my parents and grandmother and even Darren. I cried to much. Now, Im seriously immune. Not even watery eyes. WHY!!! WHY I CANNOT CRY! ARGH! LET ME CRY!

ul’t li albi bissaraha

Ul’t li albi bissaraha means I am opening my heart with honesty in Arabic. Oh my god. I think Arabic and French are the most beautiful languages! ( Including Malay, of course!) Well, I tried to pick up Chinese but haha! so difficult. Still learning! Hon Ding’s teaching me. Sometimes. I know some Chinese phrases though! (:

So many projs to rush actually. Im trying to complete all today and tmr by 8pm so that I dont have to come back to school on Wed. Oh after submissions of all the assignments will be Studio proj which is the Crowbar Awards then the Esplanade Project. So excited to do Esplanade Project! (: Mhmm, still havent got the chance to talk to James. urgh. I just have to. I really need to tell him. Really .. if i can just talk to him about it, im damn sure things will be so much easier for him too. OOH!! I almost forgot about the dinner at my Ah ma’s hse on Thursday! My mom was shocked when i told her i am going to work on Chinese New Year.

Mom: So what days are you working this week?

Me: Oh Chinese New Year & Saturday.

Mom: What about your dinner at Ah ma’s house?

Me: Oh ya!oh no!!

But heh.. so lucky i did not put myself to work on Thurs. If not, I cannot get off la! You see, this is a very good thing when your Dad is Indian-Chinese and your Mom is Malay. You get to enjoy all the festives! (: So excited for CNY of course! Gathering and all. (: and oh. angpaos.. (:

I got an invitation from the prime ministers office today! It’s about the Garden Party at Istana on the 17 Feb 08. Same day as Starbucks outing! ARGH. I really hope Dzul can let me off for just 4 hours! Im so excited and honored to be invited to meet Mr President! I really want to talk to him. Ahh like reel only eh.. Eh who knows man! (: So looking forward to it! yea babeh! (: Oh ya this Sunday is the Mr Wee’s CNY dinner reception. Im so excited for that too! Mr Wee is one of the directors for Singapore Technologies. Cool shits! and he’s driving my dream car! Oh damn it! It’s the 6 series beemer. argh.. awesome car man.. that beemer is just so sexy! oh ya, I heard his daughter is taking Islamic Studies. WOW.. Im like WOW.. She’s a Chinese. And not sure if Christian. But it’s so awesome. My dad always tell me to think globally for the courses I want to take in Uni later on. Even during my poly intake he has alr said that. It’s true la. Jobs like in the business sector dont really interest me except for Banking and Finance. And if you take Accounts, I think there will be programs that can help man to do the accounts like lets say 10 yrs down the road? I dont know. But maybe… hmmm..

I can’t help but to keep listening to Alhamdulillah by Too Phat. The Malay vers. The song is awesome k..(:

Alhamdulillah (Malay Version) Lyrics

disaat waktu berhenti…kosong
dimensi membutakan mata,memekakkan telinga
lalu diri menjadi hampa
saat paradigma dunia tak lagi digunakan untuk menerka*
sadarku akan hadirmu,mematahkan sendi2 yang biasanya tegak berdiri

ult li albi bissaraha (I’m opening up my heart with honesty)
hayya nab’idil karaha (Let’s avoid the hated and hatred)
syakkireena a’ kulli ni’ma (Let’s remain thankful with what we have)
ba’ ideena anil fattana (Let’s avoid all lies and sins)

merenungi luar jendela,mengagumi kebesaran yang Maha Esa
ku menilai kehidupan dari sudut berbeza
tak memadai hanya kecapi rasa selesa
maukan harta yang mampu beli 1 semesta
berpesta ke pagi botol bergelimpangan
kekasih muda bukan takat berpegang tangan
harta dan jamuan nafsu tidak berkekalan
bila menjelang tua bukan itu jadi bekalan
dan jangan puisi ini disalah tafsir pula
bukan berkhutbah cuma betuli diri jua
ingin hidup sempurna aset nilai berjuta,
saling tukar wanita,senyum dan mati tua
bakat dikurnia jangan disalah guna
jangan kufur nikmat yang diberi percuma
guna kelebihan untuk hikmah bersama
jagalah nama hidup penuh pementasan dan drama
ada berisi ada yang kurus,ada melencong ada yang lurus bukan semuanya tulus
ada sempuna ada kurang upaya ada yang jadi buta hanya bila sudah kaya
sebesar rumah bermula dengan sekecil bata,boleh hilang dalam sekelip mata
ucaplah alhamdulillah bukannya sukar, kerna semua nak kaya atau besar
tetap Allahuakbar!!!

jadikanlah ku tentera Fisabilillah yang tertera di kalimah harap memanduilah
entah apabila persimpangan tiba,hidup penuh rintangan harus kuhadapinya
harapku tidak terlupa diri bila gembira,dan cuma mula mencari kau disaat hiba
ku cuma manusia penuh dengan kesilapan tapi bisa membezakan cahaya dan kegelapan
tabah bila dihalangan duri onak dan cobaan
teguh bila dicobakan keruh kuasa dan perempuan
sentiasa legar diminda,dikejar dan dipinta dari zaman bermula hingga ke akhirnya
ku mengerti siapa ku tanpamu disisi dan apa guna posesi juga posisi
sementara ini cuma hanya puisi,nukilan tulisan dan bisikan isi hati
mencari keterangan,menjiwai peranan menepati pesanan janji juga saranan
alhamdulillah atas kurniaan rezeki,moga tidak terleka dalam perjalanan ini

aku yang memandang di dalam lubuk hati,mencari-cari zat rahsia yang katanya tersembunyi
aku yang melihat alam meliputi wujud menyertai lalu ku pindahkan alam ke dalam mata hati
aku hakiki,aku mengerti segala yang terjadi di langit dan di bumi
gunanya tiada fantasi, pelik dan benar,qada’ dan qadar kau berilah ku kekuatan
agar dapat ku hindarkan segala kesesatan
usah kau biar nafsuku terliur dari pandangan majazi ini,
aku yang hodoh lagi hina amat benar merindui
moga cahaya lailatul tak membutakan mataku,semoga segala puji tak ku meninggi diri
moga segala janji dapat juga ku penuhi,moga dapatku hadapi tikaman dari belakang
lidah setajam pisau, ku tidak akan risau dengan cabaran sepanjang perjalanan
ku pasrah ku akur 7,8,6 Alhamdulillah Syukur…

sujudku pun takkan memuaskan inginku
‘tuk hanturkan* sembah sedalam kalbu
adapun kusembahkan syukur padamu ya Allah
untuk nama,harta dan keluarga yang mencinta
dan perjalanan yang sejauh ini tertempa
alhamdulillah pilihan dan kesempatan
yang membuat hamba mengerti lebih baik makna diri
semua lebih berarti akan mudah dihayati
Alhamdulillah,Alhamdulillah,Alhamdulillah….

Really awesome. Just every line is so meaningful. Go find a translator if you dont understand (:

Not planning to sleep tonight. Wanna rush all assignments. (: & oh thr is the poster on Habib Umar’s classes this Feb. He’s good… (: