Pretend things are okay

“Don’t wanna be alone tonight”

Urgh..  She’s going through the same things like I did when I was with Darren. wah.. I really don’t know what is the right thing to help her with. It’s like it all comes with experience. The big word that she has to learn is patience.

Right now there’s still something which is missing. But uh.. Just take things as they come. & yah.. mission: NOT TO THINK TOO MUCH. (:

Live with it

Contradictons & irony. You just gotta face it. Really BAD week. Could have done better. I am not procrastinating. I have alot of things to be done.. Too many I don’t know where to start. I am so tired. Time will never stop for me. & I’ve been running like a MAD DOG. argh. & that all equals to this frustration. This bad week.

I had this conversation with James earlier today

Me: I am so stressed up. I think I’ve been trying to do too much

James: No. You are doing too much. Not trying to! You are! You don’t do too much la.
Me: Yah… (stupidly realising)

Complete a thing at a time. Don’t think too much. It’s impossible to please everyone. Do what’s enough and NOT TOO much. Don’t get too stressed up and I must have time to watch the sky go by. Anyone who doesn’t have time to do that will just miss out this beautiful life. I don’t want to be that one of them.

So lets list out the things to settle.

1) Schedule when school starts

2) School shits(eg, reformat comp, hard disk, etc)

3) Grassroots(eg, finish up posters, proposals, etc)

4) SAT test

5) NYAA Gold

6) Get a CCA

Oh ya i intend to take the paper like end of the year. See how I haven’t registered online.. I am not sure if I can do May paper. I think if June then can make it la. uhhh..

My grandma is upset with us and has went to my uncle house without our knowledge. Haiz.. I really don’t know what is happening. ):

I think it is just so hard to please everyone. Haiz. But seriously, that’s what I wanna at least do for my parents. Make them happy first(:

Insya allah things will get better & i shall not try to think or do too much. (:

Esplanade Project

30 March 2008
West Coast Park @ 4pm

31 March 2008
Esplanade Recital Studio (Rehearsal)

2, 3, 4th April 2008
Actual performance

School on tuesday. Return laptops. 1110 AM!!

life’s back again..

okay.. I shall not say anything about last night (: she’s just smiling now.

He proved Naz right. Very well then. Not really of a bother anyway. Who cares?

Life’s back again i guess. Said what i have to. Did what i had to.

Finding time to re format my iMac and my hard disk now. OGL training will be next week then will be busy with orientation and other poster stuffs as usual..

Time to develop my holistic development! So many things to accomplish..

Oh yes! PA Paddle Championship will be on the 19 & 20 April @ Bedok Reservoir. Doubt we can win the race. But we can go for fun! (:

“I can’t say goodbye because I love you.” I realised there’s no need for me to forget the feelings I used to have for him. Life goes on and I know even 100 years later, I’ll still do love him. For the fact that I just love him. No whys or how comes.. I just do. It’s so weird how I can never forget the times we had. The feelings I had.

Oh well. Life’s still moving on..

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY DARREN!(:

What am I thinking?

Sometimes I really don’t know why I feel so botherd about love. So what if I don’t get married. OR even have a boyfriend till I don’t know what age. I think… because I don’t want to be in a relationship & it’s more of I haven’t feel the right one coming along. He’s somewhere out there. Im not sure if he is actually right in front of my eyes. But I don’t think so. There’s so much more to my life. Can’t be this person is actually one of any guys I know.

So this he is not replying my messages. I really don’t know why. ): I really want to continue to talk to him. Well, he’s not exactly the ideal guy I ever dreamed of but of course I don’t want to just stop talking to him. It’s horrible. I don’t mind being friends with him. But if he ever wants to get together I think he has to change. But I don’t want to change that person. I want that person to change himself. Oh well.. I don’t think we’ll ever end up together. I don’t feel right with him.

So this another he is a great guy. Makes me laugh. Makes me smile. Talking to him will be like forever. We’ll keep on talking and talking till we sleep. Such a gentleman. Even when we’re no longer together, he wants to pay for everything! LOL? I guess he feels it’s only right if he pays when going out with a girl. No matter who is she to him. This him is really awesome. I love him to bits and pieces. It’s like I think we’re still together but just not together. We are NOT together. He’s such a nice friend. We both know it’ll never work out. & to think about it, I really want him a bestfriend instead!

It’s so hard to find a bestfriend in that someone.. Rarely will they come along.  RARELY

So the other hes are no longer my concern in my life. (: People do come and go in your life. Life still goes on. On & on & on.

Im feeling really happy the way things are now. Just most of it. NOT all of it. At least there are things that is going well. At the end of it all, there’ll always be more bigger problems that we all have to think about than just finding your that someone. I think this thing is something any other teenager will go through. Totally norm i guess.

Life still goes on.

Hari Maulud Nabi;12 Rabiul Awal

Hari Maulud (kelahiran) Nabi Muhammad SAW bertujuan untuk memuliakan Nabi Muhammad SAW berasaskan firman Allah dalam Al-Quran (terjemahannya ) ;

“Maka orang yang beriman kepadanya (Muhammad saw) memuliakannya, menolongnya dan mengikuti cahaya yang terang yang diturunkan kepadanya (Al-Quran) mereka itulah yang beruntung.”
Al-Araf: 157

Hari Maulud pertama kali diselenggarakan oleh Sultan Salahudin al Ayyubi ketika menghadapi pasukan salib bagi membakar semangat berjuang dan berkorban, untuk menyelamatkan umat Islam dan sebagai memperingati kejayaan Sultan Salahuddin al Ayyubi berhasil memimpin tentera Islam memasuki Jurusalem.

Maulud Nabi disambut setiap 12 Rabiul Awal dimana zikir khusus akan diadakan di masjid-masjid. Perarakan secara besar-besaran yang disertai oleh lelaki, perempuan, dan kanak-kanak akan diadakan di bandar dan kampung sambil menyanyikan lagu-lagu memuji Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. juga akan diadakan untuk meriahkan hari Maulud mulia ini. Jamuan makan juga dianjurkan diadakan oleh orang perseorangan atau pertubuhan untuk fakir miskin.

Terdapat 2 pendapat mengenai Maulud Nabi, iaitu pendapat pertama melakukannya adalah satu perbuatan yang dianjurkan bagi umat Islam. Pendapat kedua pula menyatakan menyambut hari Maulud adalah satu bidaah disebabkan ia tidak pernah dilakukan semasa zaman Rasullullah dan para sahabat.

Menurut pendapat pertama, hujah mengapa Maulud Nabi boleh diraikan adalah :-

Bahawasanya Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. datang ke Madinah maka beliau mendapati orang-orang yahudi berpuasa pada hari Asyura iaitu hari 10 Muharram, maka Nabi S.A.W. bertanya kepada orang yahudi itu: “Kenapa kamu berpuasa pada hari Asyura?”
Jawab mereka: Ini adalah hari peringatan, pada hari serupa itu dikaramkan Firaun dan pada hari serupa itu Musa dibebaskan, kami berpuasa kerana bersyukur kepada Tuhan.

Maka Nabi S.A.W. berkata:

“Kami lebih patut menghormati Musa berbanding kamu.”
Riwayat Bukhari dan Muslim.

Ibnu Hajar Al-Asqalani pengarang Syarah Bukhari yang bernama Fathul Bari berkata bahawa dari hadis ini dapat dipetik hukum:

Umat Islam dibolehkan bahkan dianjurkan memperingati hari-hari bersejarah, hari-hari yang dianggap besar umpamanya hari-hari maulud, miraj dan lain-lain.
Nabi pun turut memperingati hari tenggelamnya Firaun dan bebasnya Musa, dengan melakukan puasa Asyura sebagai bersyukur atas hapusnya yang batil dan tegaknya yang hak.

Awesome LINKS! 

http://profile.imeem.com/hBsrnh/music/QMtlL-CU/zein_almuttaqein_marhaban/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULD2MhckXY0&feature=related

Reference
http://www.kusza.edu.my/~hakim/Islam/Masalah/maulud.html

From doyagrl;

Hari Keputeraan Nabi Muhammad SAW

Today’s our dear prophet Muhammad birthday! 12 Rabiul Awal.. REMEMBER THAT DAY AND REMEMBER THE THINGS HE HAD DONE FOR ISLAM.

Don’t know how many Muslims actually know about it. But I already promised Ernie I would post one entry on Maulidur Rasul (: Manage to find some really nice Marhabans on imeem and You tube. (: So happy! Alhamdullilah.

Had fun with JamesyJames. ((: Hon ding hasn’t been contacting me BUT his oratorical competition will be this Saturday, hopefully things will be okay for him. Insya Allah. (:

Alhamdullilah for the wonderful day. Better days to come. Im sure!

kasih mengapa

ku terperangkap dalam kabus yang gelap
tak dapat bayangkan diriku tanpamu
semakin hari ku semakin rindu
hati yang terguris kini jadi sendu

hati tutup entah kerna apa
agar ku salah langkah
tidak pernah sabar
cuba hendak mengerti
jawapan diberi
philosofi cinta sudah pudarkan diri
tidak akan sekali menyusun kembali
cinta yang diberi sangat kau menyakiti
jiwa, raga, senyuman diberi
memori yang indah akan tetap ku ingati

kini kusedar siapa diriku ini
bayanganmu ku sering termimpi-mimpi
kata-katamu hanya manis di bibir
usah buatku sering terfikir-fikir

oh, mengapa cinta kita berubah
oh, mengapa cinta kita didusta

ku terperangkap dalam kabus yang gelap
tak dapat bayangkan diriku tanpamu
semakin hari ku semakin rindu
hati yang terguris kini jadi sendu

ingin ku merehatkan diri
dari segala fikiran
cuba menghebarkan pesanan yang bernas lagi bestari
cinta itu buta tapi tidak murah tetapi lupakan remaja
mengapa dipersiakan kalau tidak rela
ini bukan permainan ibarat boneka
ku jujur, ku tegur, tetap ikhlas di hati
tapi bukan bayangmu yang kudekapi

oh, mengapa cinta kita berubah
oh, mengapa cinta kita didusta

kini kusedar siapa diriku ini
bayanganmu ku sering termimpi-mimpi
kata-katamu hanya manis di bibir
usah buatku sering terfikir-fikir

oh, mengapa cinta kita berubah
oh, mengapa cinta kita didusta

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Mar 12th, 7:21am

im good for nothing

okay, this point of life just makes me feel like giving up. I swear.

Ohh my god, my sem2 results sucks. Thanks to my dad for being my reality check; like all the time. I know what he said is true. Only if i had listen to them & do alot better for O’s, I wouldn’t be where I am now. At an ideal place which is not ideal to me. Only if I had just stopped thinking about Darren. Only if I have placed my brains properly at the right places. Urgh. Damn annoyed now. Wa, i know no more crying over spilt milk. Just do better. Stop whining cos whining doesn’t get anyone anywhere or makes things better. Zaid said that to me & yah, it is something I should always keep in mind.

I think this is what happens when you try to accomplish so many things at a time. sucks..

I know people always judge me for who I am not. They talk about what they see in me but not what they do not see in me. Most people think I am stuck up. Arrogant and etc. Im not. I never had problems talking to anyone at all until I work at Starbucks. Probably I have to lower myself down. I know I have to. I am doing things like getting myself very involved in grassroots. Getting to know more people of all walks of life. Then again I see no point telling him all these cos I know there’s just no point telling him things about myself. Let him find out. & let his judgments about me be wrong. He got me wrongly, I got him wrongly. Okay.. so let’s not talk so much to him already. I think that way is better.

Such horrible feeling. ): I know work hard and make this world a better place.

You don’t know me. Don’t talk things about me. No one has ever has the rights to say anything about another. Mirror yourself first. I know you’ll just be another passer by in my life.. Doesn’t really make alot of difference I guess.

as life goes on

“Seronoknya bila diri sedang bercinta”  (:

But ooh, Im not! hah. just a quote though.

Had a long and tiring day. I know gotta concentrate on Esplanade project now. Things to do; ALOT. Im tired. Keep on pushing myself. Cant just give up everything now. NONO.

I think I am going to stay up tonight to take care of my grandmother. Yes, she’s back. I really don’t know how to persuade her to go for chemo BUT! I will.. Sometimes, it’s just difficult. Being put in a dilemma of the things that is to her preferance OR your preference. I really don’t know which one I should consider. ): Sometimes, things like this really make you think the “other” problems are nothing compared to this. Absolutely nothing. Unnecessary problems or should i say, problems that shouldn’t be a problem actually. Problem with the person himself. I think this people should go find better things to do. oh well.

Im just tired & there’s so many things to do. Waaa…