Funeeh

HAHA

VOLAREE!!!! laugh some more lah. (:  very funneh. I want to do my ow version of funneh video too! With the mg people(:

I still wonder… I wonder & everyday I wonder. I ask. I wonder. I still don’t get my answers. Right now I have the feeling she’s gonna get breast cancer again. I don’t think chemo and whatevr whatevr helps anymore. She’s been in and out of KKH Breast Centre like a thousand times already. I’m not sure if this is hereditary in the family but I think so. One side is already waiting on her death bed. I mean like of course we all are in a way waiting for death. But this is a slightly different case. I know I would die of the same cause one day too. Just waiting helplessly for the test results now. Then again I should not think too much, just for now.

I keep questioning. Are there really a lot of feelings that I’ve hurt SO MUCH before that I deserve this? Have I not been treating my loved ones good enough that I deserve this. All I want is the happiness of my loved ones. Is that even so hard? How can I be at rest when I see them suffer?

oh, to mirza, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY! I forgot how old is he. I’ll just put as 21. (so he can watch R21 tmr. LOL) HAPPY BIRTHDAY COMRADE (: have fun at Tekong. see you this weekend!

Seharuman bunga camelia

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Nothing, Nowhere

Nothing, Nowhere, Clare & The Reasons

Here I am
It is I
Here I stand
Nothing, nothing
Out of nowhere

Here I am
Nothing, nothing
Out of nowhere

Nowhere
I present to you
Nowhere
Nobody’s new who’s who
Nowhere
kick the same old can
Nowhere
Nobody gives a damn
If you’re free then come with me to

Nowhere, that’s where
Nowhere, that’s where, you’ll find me

Nowhere
Just bring your comb and shoes
Nowhere
That’s all you’ll ever use
Nowhere
You know I’m leaving soon
Nowhere
Just let me know by noon
If you’re free then come with me to

Nowhere, that’s where
Nowhere, that’s where, you’ll find me

Awesome song (: I like. This kind of music. Alot. Like a lot. The more alternative the betterrrr (: Some of their songs are with stupid lyrics but who cares. Lyrics are just plain words (:  Some maybe a bit for a lullaby but it certainly soothes the ear (: Like a lot. This song makes me feel like I’m elevating to the moon. And to say BYE BYE EARTH. ohoo, bye bye earth! Wooooh..I feel quite healthy today. Healthy like cow. I know I’ll be having A TUB OF PADDLE POP in no time (: Gym on wednesday & friday. Yeahh.. Tennis on Wednesday too. hoohoohoo!

Oh so happy to see friends back on the first day of their school (Not mine cos I’ve had school since forever-erer.. ) I am talking to Rezal again. After so long. Haiz.. Domestic issues Too domestic infact. I just wish things would turn out better.. I hope Bruno is having a safe trip back to Paris now. I bet he’s like snoring away in the GTV (France bullet train)

Oh I saw ALOT of stars otw home(: like ALOT. & yes I saw orion’s belt (: hooh, amazingly wonderful. I like stars. Stars, stars makes me go blind. Erm irritably irritated by Jed’s pushing me.. Sometimes it’s quite irritating esp when he’ll grab & tickle me till i roll down the chair and the floor with tears.. Thanks ah. JED I SWEAR I WILL PINCH YOUR NIPPLES SO HARD BEFORE GRADUATION THAT YOU’LL REMEMBER ME FOR LIFE!

Why is it I don’t feel life when I am living?

Crank that! hoo….

hee, Fast and Furious. hooh, that’s wht soujia boy is so repeatedly playing in mind head!

Trip back was aweeehsome! Then again everytime I go back I DON’T WANT TO COME BACK! really. it’s so much slower there. I like. Unlike sg. Urgh, frustrated you cannot keep in pace with time. You don’t have to worry about it there. Ah, my heart always cries when I have to think that I am not actually meant to live there. I hate to go back. Really. I don’t want. I don’t want. You know people there are so much nicer than here. I need to live with more nice people.

So today. I think we’re going to watch Fast & Furious 4 (: heeheh. I’ve promised myself to live life highhh no matter what. So yes, will do justice to it. Despite the fact I’ve been thinking of no one but Darren. Yes, Darren. Haiz.. Don’t know lah. I miss him so dearly. Like really. See this is the problem when you are close to someone the possibility of losing someone gets higher. Then when you finally lose someone it gets harder to move on and then you get upset. MORE & you feel like dying all over again. Same goes to all other men that has ever entered. Or been lingering outside the heart. haa, what’s life if you don’t get hurt.

Suci dalam debu

Hee, a matter of hours bfore I’m going(: Haiz. One problem with me now. Everytime balik kampung tak nak balik spore. Tak nak balik lah!! Nak duduk sana. Lagi best. Singapore really has nothing. NOTHING. At least if at rumah Wak Andan ada kebun buah (: BEST giler. I am excited. Like really. SUPERLY excited! BALIK KAMPUNG!!! ohohohooo BALIK KAMPUNG! (sing along lah!)

Kalau dah namanya orang Melayu tetap Melayu juga. I tend to miss those times when I was much younger and had more time to go back. Those times were really fun. Really. I think duduk kat kampung best. BEST SANGAT SANGAT!

Tiring but fun day with Nasyat, Nakib, Batrisyia and Yuni yst. (: Kids are awesome. Really. Nakib beat me in badminton. Damn. The small man is really good i tell you!

Aha I am NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO COME BACK! NO! grrr!

boohoo!

Yeh, you are right. He is the inspiration. Good thoughts=good words (:

Fatigue pumps in unknowingly in this weary mind and soul. Push my self. Know my limits (:

Fatigue

Oh dear

Nenek is sick. Hope Parkinsons is not killing her just yet. If I can’t get passport in time to leave Singapore I’ll be very mad. Ok, that also means I have to stay in Singapore alone. I need to go back. I really need to go back.

Snail mail is pretty addictive. I like the feeling of mailing things to friends (: it’s nice..

There’s a lot to be done. I’m slowing down again. Turn me around. Get me a Uturn sign. I need to get back on track.

Tired eyes cannot conquer mind to be tired too. CANNOT!

The mind will explode

My Finest Illusion

Breezy air blowing through the soft cheeks

Followed by fresh smelling daises

Red petals falling on the ground

Dried leaves dancing with the wind

Warmth of earth felt at my toes

Gives blanket to the cold heart

Soul lies in comfort

Feels the everlasting fantasy

The sweet infinte joy tickles my senses (:

Haha.. Am I feeling happy? I guess. While listening to Yo-yo Ma.  (: He’s awesome. Today’s more classical. hee(:

Oh dead boring life. But I’m happy (:

I need to get passport done asap. GRR.

Moving on….

See, the new door has come. Quick eh?(:  Alhamdulilah..

Pay coming in hooo…

NOW, lagu-lagu hindustan. Don’t ask why.. Hoo and Haa and lalala and ahhaaaa…HAHAA

I smell you in the blood running through my veins

I hear you as my heart beats

I feel you every time the cold breeze brush through my wasted cheeks

I savor your sweet tender lips that used to touched mine

But the eyes never sees you at my sight.

Oh again…

A pretty productive Sunday. I did justice to myself by resting. & then do what’s supposed to be done.

Broken string
Can’t feel anything
But just the pain stinging
Cos now you are already leaving

Why can’t you just wait to still believing
That one day our hearts will continue to be singing?

I need to have the courage to face him. If “he” ’s  no longer there then be it. I’ll have to accept it. Move on to what’s better. Regardless or not whether I contact him, still be around him.. I’m sure it’ll not make any difference to him. Or for the matter of fact, doesn’t even matter. I need to change, for my better. I’ll still wait for him patiently. For him to “come back”. For now I need to beg myself to put him behind. Time will heal my lost.

As the old door shuts, a brand new door with greater opportunities open.

eh, I still can’t explain why I don’t like to visit his blog, blehhh.. who cares. this tingling, annoyed, menyampah vibe. YES SUPER MENYAMPAH. Lol? who cares. really.

Oh the one miles away is being super nice. (: teeheehee. I wish he’ll come back to sg. Soon. haiz..

I’m so hardworking. It’s 5am and I’m still doing school work. HAH(:

Ask if I’m tired, the body answers yes, very. But for scholarship, ask if I am still tired. The body answers no!!

Gives you hell! (:

Nice sunday afternoon, oh will it rain? Will it rain?I hope so(:

Today is the day! (: eclipse and breaking dawn here I come! heeteehee. I think the only reason why girls think twilight is super interesting is because they’re no nice men like Edward. See, when girls adore twilight it PROVES men sucks! It’s become THAT BAD that girls seeks into books for their love fantasy. I am so sexist now! yeah! Actions is evidence! Hmm one fine day I was at Cathay this is what Sarah shared:

Sarah: You know now there seems like there’s only 10 cute/hot men left in the world

Agnotti: Why? I thought you said there’s a million. And we’ve only met 2-3 out of the million there’s so many more cute/hot men to meet!

Sarah: Okay, see there’s 10 men. Half are probably taken right? Then let’s say 3 are gays. See, we’re left with only 2.

Agnotti thinks: HAHAHAHA. One for you one for me lah!(:

People at Cathay always have interesting conversations. Really. Stop and you think.

Now, gives you hell! The All American Rejects on repeat! Sing along lah seh!

When you see my face hope it gives you hell,hope it gives you hell. When you walk my way hope it gives you hell hope it gives you hell! (:

Nice song. Aweeweee-some! (: